double dipping, sal.  i went to intensive outpatient for alcoholism. 6 months, 9-3. it strengthened my resolve to stay sober in addition AA. the focus for you right now may be accepting you are an alcoholic and having the willingness to change. we can get into recovery but the daily footwork and desire to stay sober comes first.
many ppl die of this disease. that's real. alcohol promises us everything but instead takes our souls. i hope you will fight for your life. you deserve that as we all do.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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