Let's hope it's his terminal illness & not yours. Men who are controlling love to play these mind games. Know you are always in hopes of getting this over with & when the hopes are built up again, it's hard not to feel some level of hopeful excitement about it.

The thing with the lawyer is that is how they handle all their calls is to dump the return calls on their secretary whether friend or not.....it's just how they do their business (nothing personal I'm sure).

My guess is that he might have talked to her about the divorce, but when they got to the financial end of it, found out that it would be impossible. That was the first thing I wondered when you said something was "what has financially changed to make this possible?" If the value of your house is not worth what the mortgage is, & he's in debt with his business, there are no assets to cover the debt. Can't split a house you can't sell. If he gives you the house & has to get an apartment for himself, how would you be able to pay for the house? If nothing has changed financially to make it possible, I'm sure that his lawyer definitely pointed that out & the problem is that no matter how much one wants the divorce, unless you go through bankruptcy & end up loosing everything anyway (but finally getting rid of the debt also), it's almost impossible to figure out a financially way out when you need some kind of stability for your daughters where you are the one who has them living with you.

When financial things get in the way, it makes life all that much more difficult....know that's why I'm where I am & not divorced.....but have to say how thankful I am that I don't have to be anywhere around my husband & there is 2100 miles between us. I haven't even had any communication with him for almost a year at which point he just proved to be the same looser he had always been in our marriage. Not having to have anything to do with him makes the situation easier, but not knowing what stupid things he's still doing makes is difficult also. Just know that absense didn't make my heart grow stronger, but it sure made my dislike for him stronger as I was able to logically look back at the relationship without the emotions getting in the way.

Patience is all we can hold onto in situations like this......there will be a time when you will be free of this mess. I think that each time we go through things like this, it makes us more & more lessen the grief of leaving a person horrible enough to treat you with such lack of respect. Think it also strengthens us to not allow anyone in the future into our life that we would even sense might treat us this way.

Know how high your disappointment is at this point. My understanding is with you & all the emotions you are experiencing.