Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
One thing my T asked me was how I would react to my daughters if they were in a situation similar to what I was in as a young adult. Would I react the same way toward them? "Of course not!" I answered immediately. So I'm being a lot harder on my younger self than I ever would be to my daughters. This may be an angle that will help me with this. I have a lot of experience being a mother to them.
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Once, when T and I were working on processing some things that happened to my youngest part, I had a dream about one of my sons. In the dream, he was telling me something someone had done to him, and he was using the same words that my 3/4/5 year old self used in her mind at the time it was happening. Not the "correct" terms, but words she made up.
When I woke up, I suddenly saw that little self in the exact same way that I would have seen my sons. I knew that she didn't understand what was happening, didn't know how to make it stop, didn't have the words to use to tell anyone. Suddenly, instead of feeling angry at her and disgusted by her and embarrassed by her, I felt empathy for her, and caring. Those new feelings towards that part haven't changed...I DO still feel the warm and understanding feelings towards her.
I think that it can be very powerful to imagine our children in the same situations we were in, and to imagine our reaction, to imagine if we would "blame" them or find something wrong with them...and then to apply the way we would feel towards our children to our younger selves. Because, truly, we deserve the same love and concern that we would give to them.
I'm glad you brought this up, Sunny. I am having a VERY hard time with my 7/8/9 year old self right now. I can't accept her, love her, even LIKE her. You reminded me of what happened with my littlest self, and that gives me a little bit of direction.
Thank you for sharing about your therapy
