I appreciate the psychologist that I go to now. She is the first one that I can sit down with & logically talk through the things that are bothering me & yes, sometimes the tears come out, but there is always LOGICAL discussion that goes with them. She provides wonderful input so that it ends up being a good logical discussion. I was a firmware engineer for 15 years in my career & logic is the only thing that works with me & having discussions to work things through was what work was all about also.

All the other psychologists just sat there & listened without offering any logical discussion to talk through......I was absolutely shocked when I found that there are good psychologists out there. Added to that is the DBT group where we all can discuss what we are going through & the leader helps us understand how to apply the skills that seem to be missing in all our lives......things we should have been taught growing up to be functional in life but even our parents had no concept of....how can one teach others what they don't know? It's wonderful finding a place where I can interface with people who do know & then am able to apply other aspects of my life & see how well they really fit in the whole picture.

Wish it hadn't taken me 50+ years to learn this....but better late than never.

Unfortunately, I have found that lack of sleep & lack of food make it impossible to function as it spirals downward. It may not effect your work or your life initially, but the problem is that it degrades us physically while we aren't looking & then wham, all of a sudden, it's almost too late as any addiction ends up being. Not eating one gets addicted to the hunger feeling.....which is all part of the ED also.

I understand, when there isn't love in our life & we don't feel cared about by others & there isn't anyone there in our life to love, there is an inside hurt that just doesn't go away & sometimes the pain of the hunger/starvation does mask the hurt from the lack of love.

I know that my first experience with anorexia was when I lost my career & realized that my marriage had been horrible from the beginning & I really had NOTHING in my life at the time & controlling my not eating was the only thing I had any control over & watching the weight fall off was nothing but a strong feeling of control......for me it was the stress of the situation that triggered it because I always lost weight when I got stressed......so it just fell into place for me at that time. None of the therapy even helped me to recognize this....all things I realized years later looking back & thinking on my own.

It's really not worth the medical issues that come with the anorexia.....central lines & IV nutrition are the worst (chose that over feeding tubes). The heart issues that happen along with the changes it does to your body's chemistry......all things you need to look at if you think you really want to go there before you allow yourself to really think that it's only about hunger hurting.....the other pains & illness that come from it go way beyond that & one doesn't have to get there to appreciate how bad it really is.

Interesting, because most think it's weak & silly NOT TO ASK FOR HELP & really respect those who are willing to ask for the help they need. Sorry that you didn't see that aspect of T, but it's something that I have truly come to understand now that I have found wonderful T that really does care for the people see.

Wishing you the best with this as ED is a very serious situation you are dealing with here.