this could be more appropriate for the bipolar forum? correct me or place elsewhere if necessary...i apologize...I am newly diagnosed bipolar...the toll being taken on my relationship with my common law hubby is getting to be too much. He himself has his own issues supposedly ADHD which he was diagnosed with at a young age and has not kept up treatment for several years...but I think his issues go farther than that...he is constantly irritable, has constant snap reactions to things, hes paranoid to the point when people talk he only hears the parts he deciphers to be attacks on him instead of hearing the whole statement made by someone....he gets downright mean in his knee jerk reactions and says things he later says he never meant and wouldnt ever do etc etc I admit I don't have the best delivery when I say things (most often it revolves around things to do with my son from a previous relationship - i have serious trust issues based on previous relationships ESPECIALLY my sons biological father) he takes it to heart as hes the only dad my son has ever known but never once have I said hes a bad dad or attacked him like that but when I assert my boundaries for how he handles our son he immediately takes it as such and it becomes all or nothing I don't like it so he wont interact with him anymore - totally not what I was going for since thats in no way fair to my son and it will just confuse and hurt him. With my increasingly worsening state the last couple of months my irritability level is heightened in my manic periods or overly depressed moods and I have had an increasingly bad delivery in my approach and in one of our recent arguments (only the day after I saw the doctor and was diagnosed - so fresh in my head and still sort of raw in my feelings about it) his knee jerk reaction to my statements were to tell me Im f***ing crazy and go tell my doctor about it and chart it on my little chart. It hurt exceptionally because this is supposed to be somone I can trust significantly and he just judged me in the same way so many people have in the past. I've been called names before and hes threatened to leave a million times. However, to be fair on his part I have told him to leave just as many times and have called him many names as well. Though my son has not seen the worst of it he has seen some unrest in our house, seen me cry more times then I ever would have liked and just has a general knowledge that somethings not right...he sees me upset or sad and runs to give me hugs and tell me its ok and give me kisses and so forth and it absolutely breaks my heart because no child is supposed to feel like their home is anything but happy and healthy. I am now expecting baby number 2 with my CLH and I am taking the steps to get my bipolar in check by seeing this doctor, developing a plan with my doctor and my supports for when my son is born...I have convinced CLH to see his doctor regarding his adhd/other mental health issues to help him on his way to recovery as well as I want a safe and healthy happy home for both our kids. I guess after all my rambling one of my biggest questions are for those of you who have s/o's who don't suffer from mental illness and/or aren't aware of how it works and how to deal and cope...how have you as a couple made efforts to have one or both understand each other better and how to cope with mental illness before it drives you apart permanently. thanks for listening all and I look forward to the responses.