Yeah it is a messed up world. While I don't really have a spritiual side anymore, I still believe that all the problems are sign of "the end of the times." Humans are incapable of self-rule.

Anyway, I think you have great aspirations. Of course they may change in time. I know mine did. Unfortunately most of do have to work "regular" jobs to get by. BUT that doesn't mean that we can't soar to the sky on our own time and study or work through whatever we want.

I'm sure there are groups out there of people who are as intellectual as you are that may like to talk about similar ideas. At the very least, I hope you are an avid reader and check out books on all the subjects that interest you.