I am a 26-year-old wife and mother of 2 boys, struggling to help my chronically depressed husband. His depression started to become obvious about 2 years ago at his previous job. He became frustrated with his boss and started calling out of work on a repetitive basis, sleeping until all hours of the day. At the time, I was pregnant with our 2nd son (who was planned), gave birth in February, and my husband fell into an even worse depression and eventually was fired from his job that May. After losing his job, our home went into foreclosure and he hasn't been interested in doing anything about it since. He did get another job about a month and a half later, but one that pays far less and does not offer benefits that we even come close to affording.

I've started to feel hurt and alone myself, and began taking the blame for all of our troubles. He started throwing it in my face that we've been in the position that we are because I couldn't be bothered to work to support my family. He constantly screams at me and tells me that I make him miserable, despite the fact that I do absolutely EVERYTHING for this man and our children. And what do I do? I sit there and take every bit of it, because I know in my heart that he has a chronic illness and is in complete denial about it. I cry alone on many occasions, trying desperately to come up with a plan of action to help him, while attempting to put a stop to an impending divorce. I love this man, because I know that the person he is now is NOT the man that I married 6 years ago. I feel like I'm living with a complete stranger who just looks like my husband. I keep praying that the man I fell in love with will snap back into reality and be there for his sons and I again.

He finally admitted on his own last night that he needs professional help, but actually getting him in to see someone is going to be the problem. He absolutely hates taking any type of medication, even for his allergies that he suffers with on a daily basis. I am at my breaking point and don't have any clue how to help him anymore. Even the times that he's brutally mean and nasty, I turn around and fall into the role of being his support system once again, because I've had depression before and I know how miserable it feels... But it's truly become a vicious cycle and it is interfering with every aspect of his life that was important to him before.

I fear that my continued support is leading to more and more resentment on my end, especially when he gets in one of his moods and asks me for a divorce for the millionth time (yet will come crawling into bed with me later in the evening and apologize, asking to cuddle). I am tired of being treated like a piece of garbage and am terrified to think of how much worse his condition will get without help. How do you REALLY get someone to see that they have a serious illness that is ruining their life, as well as the people who care about them the most? How do you get someone to follow through in getting that help that they so badly need? I am at my wit's end and do not want to give up on my husband, but I don't know what to do anymore.

If there is anyone out there reading this and can give me practical advice in order to help my husband and my marriage, I am willing to try almost anything at this point. The medical insurance that we have is very basic and we cannot afford to pay for a practitioner out of pocket. He will not get help at one of the local churches, not because he isn't religious, but because he feels that he'll be "preached" to. My final predicament with this is that even if he does manage to get in to seek psychiatric help, he will not take the medication as prescribed. I am fearful of the long term consequences of his depression, especially with our children, as well as the fact that there have been prior suicides in his family. I'm scared to death for him and just want him to be happy! Please, help me to help him!!!