Lynn, it's so hard to play that waiting game. I understand about your comment about stress. So hard....

I notice you didn't mention if the lady lawyer friend gave a referral, so I'm guessing not. When you see a divorce lawyer the first time, there is usually no charge. That first meeting is usually free, while you get some basic info, and decide whether you want to employ them or not. So I would suggest that you go see a lawyer for one free session, get some free information, share some details about the situation and ask for their advice. At least you will become more educated about divorce and you will have a contact with a lawyer established just in case things go awry and you need legal representation immediately. If you don't have the name of a lawyer, try that website I gave you up thread.

In addition, I recommend that you learn all you can about the family finances. Photocopy bank records, investment records, mortgage documents, etc. Become very knowledgeable about what's happening with money in your household, if you aren't already.

Also, what is your work situation? Do you stay home with your girls or work part- or full-time outside of the home? I would recommend being proactive and doing all you can to bolster your job. If you are not working, consider what type of job you would be able to get, or take a job skills course. And network to build your contacts who may help when you do want to make a change.

You can do these things while you bide your time and wait to make a move or for him to make a move. You can make use of your more or less stable situation now to do things you will have to do anyway once you are separated.

Best of luck, lynn.