I definitely agree with sunrise on this point. It's important for you to get as much information about your financial situation even without his knowing it. The thing is that you are a part of the financial situation because you are his wife & part of the marriage even if he's kept you in the dark & off of everything, you still have financial responsibility in the marriage even if he's the only one with income.

It's also a good idea to learn as much as you can about handling money because when you are on your own, it's something you are going to need to know HOW to do.

I also believe like sunrise, that it would just be a good idea for you to go to a divorce lawyer & get all the possible information you can about your legal situation. The more educated you get yourself the less he can BS & intimidate you with any threats because you can stand up to him with the facts. It's important to know whether your husband is just BS'ing you or whether he's really telling you the truth about the divorce. Knowing your rights also puts you more in control of the situation than allowing your self to stay a passive bystander. When he realized that you have educated yourself about your situation he will also be less inclined to try to intimidate you. On top of that, maybe talking with a lawyer will allow you to find out a way out of the marriage either that, or you will find out exactly why you may be stuck in it because of financial reasons. Which ever it turns out, it's better for you to know for yourself than blindly accept whatever your husband tells you. I honestly can't see that really being YOU since you don't seem to be that way with any other part of your life.

Know it's tough to try to get some level of control when you have been controlled for so long. I am sure that it would be a very good example for your girls to see & learn from to make them stronger in their own relationships later on in their own lives.

I know that when I went to the free consultation of the divorce lawyer I talked to, it was a very valuable learning experience even though I learned that I financially was stuck at the time & still am until anything changes with the economy.