Thanks everyone for the kind words of support. It means alot that you are all willing to put yourselves out there. Things are a bit better. I've struggled with addictions my whole life and I go to 12 step meetings. The trouble is that no matter what I do in the program, it doesn't deal with my depression. The people there don't understand why things aren't getting better for me. I've been clean almost 16 years now, but the depression never goes away. It eases off for awhile sometimes but it always comes back. The meds didn't do anything for me really so I stopped taking them about 3 years ago. I feel better for having gotten rid of the side affects. I read something awhile ago that I found inspiring. I don't remember who wrote it... "We have to stop waiting for the storm to end. We have to learn how to dance in the rain..." So that is what I'm trying to do. Trying to learn how to cope when it's bad. If I keep waiting for it to go away so I can be normal, my life will pass me by while I'm waiting. I have to learn to make the best of my life no matter what I'm going through.

TC everyone and I hope everyone finds something to inspire them.