Hi Cloudchaser,

I understand about not being sure how you ended up married. That happened to me too. I was your age and lonely and lost and insecure, and although those are not good reasons to get married, and I really wanted to prove to myself that I could be independent, I got married. I'm not sure that I was even capable of love at that point. Pretty sure I wasn't, actually. But my husband is a good guy and has encouraged me to develop my interests. It worked out for us (14 years next month).

It sounds like you need to pursue your interests (including college if that is what you want to do). Just tell your husband you need to do it. It doesn't sound like he is against it - just not as supportive as you would like, right?

I have to disagree about just getting a prescription for antidepressants and avoiding therapy. Antidepressants can give you enough of a boost to be able to get on top of things, but they don't address the roots of the depression or anxiety. In the long run you will be better off for dealing with that stuff. Prospective employers are not allowed to ask if you have had psychiatric treatment (and I've never been asked that by an employer), and if they do you do not have to tell them. That is getting to be less of a stigma all the time, as more people realize that lots of people can benefit from mental health care, and getting it makes a person better able to understand and deal with life. And there are reduced price mental health services available. If you ask around, you may be surprised.

There are also some really good books and self-help programs, and they work if you follow through and do the program. I hope you will stick around here and let us get to know you. We are a warm, friendly, supportive family here, and there is always room for one more.