It sounds like you have had a lot of bad experiences with rejections in your youth and probably later. I had bad experiences when I was young and I am still not sure why I attracted soo much negative attention, but I now understand that my failure to stickup for myself comes off as a weakness and bullies are attracted to this. Also many women find this repulsive. You can also form behavior patterns that cause a negative response from other people. I use to think my appearance had something to do with it but now I believe it was much more not sticking up for myself. I also believe that my weaknesses are a big part of why I don't like myself very much. Try to be how you really feel as long as you don't physically hurt anyone or do anything not socially exceptable. You should like yourself better and not harbor soo much resentment. Joining a regularly scheduled excercise group(regularly scheduled helps you to comit it to your schedule and stick with it) and maybe some social groups should help. It was good for me. Your local Community centers have lots of actities. You can also join a gym that has an excercise group that you are interested in. Group sports are also good excercise. You can find social groups at Meetup.com. Good luck! Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor.