Thank you so much for your kindness and words, I really really appreciate it.

I am looking into talking about such things in therapy, I just have to get up the courage to talk about it.

And SophiaG: I've wondered the same thing. Technically I've never had sex with someone, so I have no way of knowing if it would work out... I've also never been with a female in a romantic, adult or adolescent relationship... so maybe I'm gay and just dont' know it? Its another thing that leaves me constantly confused and helpless.