Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
Hi Purplefins,
Could you explain what you mean by "Maybe guilt is powering your memory?" I am not sure what that means. I know i feel guilt often.
My sister seems not to remember what happened to her. I asked her once if anything had happened to her like it happened to me (in reference to some SA by a neighbor). My sister said No, she didn't think so. However, she shows some very clear evidence of having had SA (my t agrees). And that would fit in with my partial memories about it. I have often wished she would remember and open up to me, and we could talk about it. But if she truly does not remember, it is probably for a good reason. I would never want to open up a can of worms for her by jogging her memory. She seems to be going through her life OK without that traumatic event causing her pain today, and i would not wish to put the agony i am going through onto her.
|
I mean several things-- guilt can keep one stuck and lower ones self esteem. the "little voices" of low self-esteem might tell one-- "you aren't worth such attention", "you aren't loveable" and perhaps, "you mess everything up".
So feeling guilty about ones past can give power to that low self-esteem, which feeds the mind to think of more negative things from the past -- and after a while the negative gets bigger and bigger and becomes overwhelming.... and seems too huge to cope with.
does that make sense? guilt + memories= growing negativity.
****** caution --- may trigger *****
I get caught in the "suction" of guilt-- a lot of times, I don't even realize it... it grows and grows if I don't get a hold of it, or get help to get a hold of it. --- "If i was a better/loveable 4 year old girl my mom wouldn't want to kill herself."-- "I watched through my child's eyes, paralyzed, while babies were slapped, pushed and beaten, I wasn't able to stop it, so I think those babies must hate me"--- "If I was a worthy person something would have been done to punish that guy that had the gun"..... so unloveable, hated and unworthy....
that's me
that's the power guilt has......
I wonder what power it has on you.....