Well, my internet was out yesterday so I couldn't talk to anyone.

With some distance, I realized that I have been very "emotional" about the job. I know it is not all about the job, but until now, I had 27 years of a husband and children to take care of - so a job was a job. My personal life was challenging. The changes in the past year include a divorce and empty nest. I am alone for the first time in 27 years. I had little time for friends but had two for 20+ years. One "quit" on me during the divorce. The other moved. So I have felt really alone. I have no other family contact.

During the past year - my old supervisor and co workers gave me the support I needed to do what I needed to do. ( My exh works at the same place - is an active alcoholic with anger issues) My old supervisor was a God-send to me. When she left I was bereft but we have stayed in contact. My co workers are supportive but they are struggling too.

Last night a new friend (alanon type) put this perspective on it all - I left and overcame an alcoholic abusive parent - I left and overcame abusive husband #1, and alcoholic/abusive husband A#2. All personal - now I am taking my recovery skills into a new area - work... and since I have not been one to speak up before it is new for everyone to deal with including me. Speaking up for onesself sometimes means that ppl won't like what we have to say and it is ok.

So, the journey continues... I do think it was inappropriate for my new supervisor to call me "whiny" and to turn around what I thought was a very supportive gesture "of moving my office so I wouldn't have to be around my exh" into a negative gesture of " I did it because I thought you were whiny and thought it would stop".

What I was standing up for was a "as a staff, having input into the changes being made since we have to be the ones to carry it out" based on prior way of doing things and having more experience of what works best. But it was made quite clear that this person thinks they are doing the best they can - is listening - but has to follow the administrative orders. (Not that anyone else in her positive ever did and nothing bad ever happened as a result)

From now on it will me talking things out here and there when I need to and keeping my distance. But I have to do a better job of not allowing someone else's behavior control mine.