When a loved one has a drug problem

If you suspect that a friend or family member has a drug problem, here are a few things you can do:

• Speak up. Talk to the person about your concerns, and offer your help and support, without being judgmental. The earlier addiction is treated, the better. Don’t wait for your loved one to hit bottom! Be prepared for excuses and denial by listing specific examples of your loved one’s behavior that has you worried.
• Take care of yourself. Don’t get so caught up in someone else’s drug problem that you neglect your own needs. Make sure you have people you can talk to and lean on for support. And stay safe. Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations.
• Avoid self-blame. You can support a person with a substance abuse problem and encourage treatment, but you can’t force an addict to change. You can’t control your loved one’s decisions. Let the person accept responsibility for his or her actions, an essential step along the way to recovery for drug addiction.

But Don’t

• Attempt to punish, threaten, bribe, or preach.
• Try to be a martyr. Avoid emotional appeals that may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to use drugs.
• Cover up or make excuses for the drug abuser, or shield them from the negative consequences of their behavior.
• Take over their responsibilities, leaving them with no sense of importance or dignity.
• Hide or throw out drugs.
• Argue with the person when they are high.
• Take drugs with the drug abuser.
• Feel guilty or responsible for another's behavior.

Adapted from: National Clearinghouse for Alcohol & Drug Information
http://helpguide.org/mental/drug_sub...ment.htm#loved

i'd like to add one thing, al-anon can be a support system for you if you are willing to go for yourself. your bf in the long run will need to seek outside help if he acknowledges to himself that he has a problem. i know it's painful to watch when we love someone but they are ultimately the only solution to their problem with drugs.
please know we are here for you too.