((((((geez)))))))

Oh wow, that stinks...to think about it, to process it in your head, to have all that anticipation, to be ready to say "hi"...and then to have her not be there. It totally makes sense that it would dip you into a place of disappointment and self-doubt. There are SO many big emotions there...the sadness and hope of ending therapy, the emotions from seeing her at class and not saying hi, the emotions around getting ready to see her and then not finding her there. It's just a LOT.

Can you check in with yourself about the reality of what you had with her? Can you remember your last session, and the things you said to each other, and how you felt? Sometimes when I get into a spiral of "T doesn't love me" or whatever, I try to remember specific moments when I've felt loved. For me, my history tells me to not trust my feelings, and that makes it hard. Like...what if I just THINK T loves me, but I read it wrong? I just left T a message about that tonight. My need to check in over and over and over again.

But this isn't our childhood. This is now, and we really CAN trust the connection that we've worked so hard to build with T. I bet when she sees you, she feels GOOD...you had a relationship and you worked so hard together...and there you are, out with friends, doing something healthy and healing for yourself. THAT is an amazing therapy outcome. If I were her, I would feel so proud to see that

Try not to make up a story in your head. Hang on to what is real...your hard work with T, your healing, her caring for you, that connection that you will carry with you forever. THAT is real.