Thanks, Y!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ygrec23
It's a chicken-egg problem, Swede. Don't fool yourself. That's the kind of logical trap everyone's unconscious adores playing games with. What do you do? I'll tell you: You just hunker down and spend all your guts "doing good" without thinking about whether or not you first believe you're good. Your unconscious can play games. It's up to you to tell it to cut the crap and then do what you have to do.
|
I guess I'll have to respectfully disagree with you on this for the time being. I've tried having an adversarial relationship with my unconscious for most of my life, and where has it gotten me? Two psych hospitalizations and years of therapy. Sometimes, the critical voices are so loud I think other people must be able to hear them (I'm actually not kidding on that one). I'm hoping that self-acceptance, among other things, will get me on the path out of this mess. If it doesn't, then it doesn't, and I'll try something else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ygrec23
I don't buy it, Swede. It doesn't feel right. It feels too cut and dried, too Sunday School, too 19th Century. I'm not at all down on you in any way. My little binswanger just tells me that you're trying a bit too hard to be credible.
|
Well, when I wrote that, I had my born-at-the-turn-of-the-century, French (Canadian)/Scottish (Canadian) grandmother in mind. She seemed to think I was just the Devil's spawn for some reason. I was a messed-up kid, I'll grant you that, but that woman never had a single kind word to say about me. She never had much nice to say about anybody, really, but I was the only grandchild whose picture she took down off her wall. What the hell did I do to deserve that? After a while, I pretended like I didn't care whether she liked me or not, but I feel like I'm still trying to win her approval, even though she's been dead for 20 years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ygrec23
It sure sounds like you're on the right track now! And yes, ALL of our families bring GENERATIONS of ethnic mental hangups to bear on every new baby. I'm sure you got the full dose, like almost all of us. Which is one of the truly great things about this country. Right now you have half Filipino (Americans)/half Jewish (Americans) marrying half Scots-Irish (Americans)/half Portuguese (Americans). And that's just in MY family. From the point of view of future mental health, I think it's great!
|
Here I think we're in full agreement. The more viewpoints and approaches to communication the better, which is why I went and married an Italian-American!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ygrec23
Lad, you ARE on the right track! My hat's off to you! You've got it now! My money says you and yours are going to be fine! Great to make your acquaintance! Take care! 
|
Thanks, man. Good to meet you, too. Have a great weekend!
HS