Welcome to PC shoe_addict. I am Iranian and I think I could help you in your research about Iranian customs and such things. Unfortunately, what amandalouise said is quite right. Men have a lot of power in Iranian law and culture and a great number of them abuse that power. Older brothers are usually very much respected and obeyed, so what you said about your bf's brother, although showing that the brother is a jerk, isn't out of the ordinary. The worst thing, however, is that when a man marries a woman the man's family (specially the women in his family) look at his wife in a very critical way, expectinng many things from her. It's so annoying! I remember my aunt saying she intends to marry a man who doesn't have a sister and whose mother is dead! Not all families are like that, but most of them are. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions.