I emailed the T. with how I felt about this past session. I told him that I felt like he was lecturing and that half the session could have happened without me even being there. He responded within a few minutes which was very helpful. The tone of the email was very formal but I know he doesn't like to discuss therapy in emails so I should have expected that. He said all the right things like happy I felt safe enough to say these things...that he wants me to direct the sessions... that I could have said these things in session... that hopefully we can work together to make me comfortable in session..

I feel anxious and naseaus. I'm still worried that I somehow ruined things between us. I know the next session will be so weird

But I can also see that this has more to do with my inability to confront people, say things I don't think they will be happy with , etc. than it has to do with T. I should have been able to say ...Hey wait a minute, I don't think you heard what I was saying... Or I agree with you on that but I wanted to talk about this today... I think I fear abandonment too much to do that or its an issue with authority.

How did you all survive week like this? Does it always get resolved when we confront T.?