I noticed this in myself somehow (and others noticed too, bummer). As you may knlow I am very political person and study politics. And I am hopelessly torn between realism and idealism. Cynicism and belief in humanity. But that is methodological/ideological.

But I noticed that I swing between "we are are going to die", even wishing for a nuclear war that would eliminate "this hopeless civilization than peaked long time ago" and we should die "like a beautiful flower" (to quote Japanese WWII minister). And than I have times of equaly great optimism and belief in humanity. I am convinced myself if there was civilization that destroyed our civilization that I am gonna be there to rebuild it.

Honestly, it worries me at time. I consider myself a person who loves people and humanity, a new age-y cosmopolitan... but at times I hate it. At times I am frustrated with it.

do you notice simmilar change of your beliefs yourself?