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Originally Posted by HalfSwede
Thanks, Y! I guess I'll have to respectfully disagree with you on this for the time being. I've tried having an adversarial relationship with my unconscious for most of my life, and where has it gotten me? Two psych hospitalizations and years of therapy. Sometimes, the critical voices are so loud I think other people must be able to hear them (I'm actually not kidding on that one). I'm hoping that self-acceptance, among other things, will get me on the path out of this mess. If it doesn't, then it doesn't, and I'll try something else.
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Oh, my! I'm sorry, Swede. I hadn't realized at all that things had gotten that bad in the past. I apologize. I thought you were just dealing with normal moodiness. The bootstrap proposal I wrote about to you would only be for someone whose difficulties weren't as severe as yours. I'd agree with you that self-acceptance would be an approach that had to be checked out and tried.
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Well, when I wrote that, I had my born-at-the-turn-of-the-century, French (Canadian)/Scottish (Canadian) grandmother in mind. She seemed to think I was just the Devil's spawn for some reason. I was a messed-up kid, I'll grant you that, but that woman never had a single kind word to say about me. She never had much nice to say about anybody, really, but I was the only grandchild whose picture she took down off her wall. What the hell did I do to deserve that? After a while, I pretended like I didn't care whether she liked me or not, but I feel like I'm still trying to win her approval, even though she's been dead for 20 years.
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Did your family live with your grandma so that she would have such a strong effect on you? Many of us never saw their grandparents that frequently, that their approval or disapproval could count very much. Is there a streak of depression or other illness in either side of your family? Do you think that your grandma herself was all there?
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Here I think we're in full agreement. The more viewpoints and approaches to communication the better, which is why I went and married an Italian-American! Thanks, man. Good to meet you, too. Have a great weekend!HS
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And thank you for the friendship request! Glad to be your friend! Take care.
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We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
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