Hi BP,

I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you on this. My perfectionism has kept me away. There were so many messages on this board that I hadn't read, and I had a presentation to do for one class and a test in another one, .... anyway, I didn't get here at all because I knew I wouldn't be able to read everything and didn't want to miss something because it would all be marked read.

I think that dreams can be very useful, and that your ideas on interpreting your own dreams have more value than anyone else's. Various theorists have had their own ideas about how to interpret dreams, while others really neglect this area.

Freud emphasized dream interpretation heavily. He said that dreams usually involve a regression to infantile wishes and childhood sexuality. Since the unconscious is the most inaccessible part of personality, and dreams allow that part (and specifically the id) to express itself, you can get information through dreams that is otherwise usually blocked, or censored. Freud felt that dreams are triggered by memories of the preceding day that involve important frustrations, and the purpose of the dream is to fulfill these unfulfilled wishes. Although things may not be what they seem to be. So think about what you got in the dream that you were unable to get or do the day before. Maybe just being able to have a big party and have everyone come fulfills a wish for you? There is also symbolism in dreams, and the symbols could be used in a way that is specific to you, so you might consider what the various objects and people in the dream represent to you.

Jung specifically talked about dreams about one's family, friends, and everyday life (which arise from the personal unconscious as opposed to archetypal dreams - which arise from the collective unconscious). Some cultures have considered personal dreams to be unimportant, while collective dreams merit summoning the entire tribe and telling the dream to everybody. I think that reflects cultural values - in our culture we tend to value individualism more, so we would be more interested in personal dreams. Besides wish fulfillment, dreams may express a person's fears, mirror situations in your life, anticipate the future (even provide a warning of impending trouble), propose solutions to your problems, or even result from telepathy. According to Jung, most dreams are compensatory. What you see in the dream may be an exaggeration of the opposite of the direction you need to go. Maybe seeing yourself as being very detached means that you need to become closer to your family and friends. Dream symbols can be confusing because the unconscious is naturally illogical and it does the best it can. Every symbol has at least two meanings, and symbolism is different from one dreamer to the next. Important themes and issues tend to recur in various dreams.

Karen Horney felt that dreams indicate our true feelings.

Erich Fromm also agreed that dreams are very important. He basically agreed with all of the above. Dreams can have obvious and undisguised meanings, and that we can solve problems in our dreams. He said, "We are not only less reasonable and less decent in our dreams but also more intelligent, wiser, and capable of better judgement when we are asleep than when we are awake." So in your dreams you have more accurate perception, and are unfettered by social customs, etc. He also said that it is often not easy to interpret one's own dreams because sometimes we hide the real meaning from ourselves.

According to Erik Erikson, dreams can highlight current problems in the dreamer's life and suggest potential solutions. When you are making an attempt to study your dreams you may dream them just so that you can study them.

An idea from Rollo May is that sometimes you can't have some particular dreams until after you have made an appropriate decision in waking life.

Personally, I see dreams as a safe place to try out new perceptions, ideas, etc., work out your problems, realize how you really see the world and yourself and how you would like it to be different. In your dream, I think that you really would like to build that house and have a big party. And I would guess that you do see yourself as detached from people in your life and maybe you are telling yourself to work on some of those relationships and make them closer. Also, it sounds like you feel more comfortable and closer to your nephew and brother-in-law. I'm not sure what the water means, as I have not gotten into general meanings for specific symbols, but it is entirely possible that it does mean something to you.