This is my first time here, and I am not quite sure if this is how to make my newbie introduction. I have been diagnosed with a mixed state of bipolar disorder well over six years ago, and I haven't been medicated for quite some time. The meds worked up to a point, but then it seemed to make me without a personality.

As I reflect upon my past decision to stop taking my meds, I am faced with today more heartache. In my soul, I know that I have to go back and find the appropriate treatment for me. The way I am now is affecting everything and everyone in my life---especially, the one person in my life who loves me. I can't rationally explain my actions when brought out by specific triggers to them. They understand me, but not the disease itself. What it does to me or us.

I am hoping that in here I will find some place to speak, understanding, and peace while I begin my journey once more to find a doctor and therapist.