Oh, Lynn! I was married for 20 years, asking for a divorce for most of that time. My husband threatened me with taking my daughter away, and "kicking me out in the street with nothing." I believed him at the time, and I stayed until she left for college. Then, I moved out. Like you, I wanted it to be amicable, not wanting to upset him. He controlled all the money, and he, like your husband, was most concerned about his possessions/investments/inheritance, etc. I allowed HIM to write the divorce sans lawyer, as is possible to do here. One just has to get the forms, and then go to the court for a hearing with a "lawmaster." We split the value of the house which was paid for (he stayed in it). At the hearing, the lawmaster stated to me, "Your husband has substantially more money than you. Are you satisfied with this?" telling me that once I signed the agreement, I could never come back and change my mind. I had wanted out for so many years, had been so intimidated by him, I said to her, "That is what we agreed on."

Like you, I didn't want to anger or intimidate husband. You are a nice person; you like peace, I can tell. I do too. But from my personal experience, I can tell you that you should not be timid about the division of assets. If I had it to do over, I would find a tough smart divorce lawyer to work for my financial interest. After a time, it will not matter if you've angered him. The only thing that will be important between you is your daughters. You will go on with your life; so will he. How you manaage to go one will be greatly affected by your financial condition. How "nice" you've been during the divorce process will only matter in the financial status in which you find yourself after the proceedings.

Be smart about this, please!