Wolfsong, please indulge me some introspection.
I wonder if that is what has happened to me over time. Over the years being depressed and nearly useless has become my "normal." I don't like it, yet this state is comfortable in that I don't feel as bad, or simply don't feel, most of the time. Every once in a while I explode all over myself in a fit of self-derogation. Those incidents have become fewer.

I toy with the idea that maybe it's better not to focus on "getting better." Too much focus on "healing" can get in the way of being and living the life that is. Hmmm...?

Thank you.