have you a therapist you can consult? i've found that in therapy many of my life challenges can be better understood. then i have learned coping skills and tools to work thru my obstacles. it's like being on the fast track to healthier living for me. perhaps you'd benefit with this approach too. the support of friends, perhaps a clergyman are options too. another thought is to keep the focus on you. your ex's behavior is beyond your control.
we can offer support and listen to each other here. or share what helped us as individuals. we care and hopefully you can find solutions about the things that concern you.