Lynn, I'm really glad you'll have a lawyer look at the papers. I fully support your desire to be "nice" and civil about the divorce proceedings. But a person can be "nice" and still advocate for a settlement that is fair to themselves. I was "nice" during my entire divorce proceedings, but I also lobbied for a fair settlement and got one--with my lawyer's help. My lawyer was never nasty either. Being nice doesn't mean you have to give up your rights or settle for whatever your husband's first choice is. Being nice doesn't mean you agree with your husband every step of the way.

I just don't want you to think that being nice means rolling over and playing dead. It doesn't at all.