Hi Badhorsie1216 - welcome to PC and I hope you like it here. It sounds like you have the kind of personality who likes to fix things and you feel guilty easily. You sense she's upset but she's the type who's straight forward and doesn't need help at the moment. She might be upset, but probably it has nothing to do with you though, but she can't hide it and that brings out the worry in you.

This is what I would do - tell her you realize she's under pressure and when she needs help you'll be there to listen or help...then ease up. Trust her to tell you when its you. When one partner has a problem, we need to figure out...is that person looking for you to "fix" it or just to listen with a sympathetic ear. You should also look into your past family life growing up -did you feel responsible for people's happiness - like a parent?