I've been diagnosed with bipolar unspecified for 12-13 years. I finally found a woman who loves me and I love her. We're talking about marriage, in fact we've been talking about it for a few years. We don't draw in enough money to make it, but we're both willing to go for it knowing God provides. The second thing is that my illness makes it very hard for me to work, with my loss of concentration and memory. So this contributes to the fact that making ends meet will be very difficult. But like I say, we're putting our faith in God to do what we can't.

The hardest part of all this is that I'm a nervous wreck, even though I love her. My illness gives me a nervous stomach most of the time, and this turns into stress. It's stress that got me in the hospital the first time, it would be stress that triggers the illness again. Can I marry without being too stressed out about the responsibilities?

Here are some things I know:

Pros for marrying:
- I can't live at home with my parents forever - eventually I must move
- I don't want to be alone in my own apartment - way too much responsibility for someone like me
- I love this girl
- She loves me

Cons for not marrying:
- I often get so nervous thinking about being away from home
- I get stressed out about financial things quickly
- I'm afraid my love for her may be governed by my feelings and not based on reality
- I don't know what reality is sometimes
- I don't want to drive her crazy with my illness
- I want her well taken care of when we get older, something I don't know I can do well

As time goes on, she knows what my illness is, and how difficult it is for me to know reality from irrational. She's understanding the manic/depressive cycles too.

What I'd like to know is

1. How many of you who are bipolar unspecified are happily married?
2. Can you manage your stress?
3. Does your mate understand you as well as possible?
4. Have there ever been times your mate wishes they weren't married to you?
5. Have you been in the hospital since you've been married, due to stressors of being part of the household to make money, spend it wisely, and deal with marital issues?

If there's any other advice you can give me, it would be much appreciated.