Shezbut,
Oh you are in a painful spot. I understand that depression where you feel you are walking through sludge with every move. I often think of the old cymbalta commercial with the dog that asks who does depression hurt? everyone........what does depression hurt...........everything. It makes all your days so hard.

Make sure you give yourself one treat of self comfort for the day, whether it be a cold popsicle, a blanket right out of the dryer, a hot bubble bath. I hope you have a safe spot to land at your next t appointment and get some much needed TLC. Keep being mindful, one day at a time. (sometimes one hour or one minute at a time) And remember you won't feel like this always you are feeling this for now and it sucks but feelings change. Take care.