Interesting posts; prompted me to think over my own isolation and retreat. I would try to reconnect with your friend and resolve the misunderstanding. I've had to do this with friends, so as not to lose them forever. Broken bonds are really painful; I've experienced that with one child and still block out her abuse. I have another beautiful daughter who loves me, but I don't see her enough. I know it is harder to cope alone with no children. I cling to God, because He's always present and promises to heal the broken hearted. This is not religious speak, but reality. He has always met me at every void of despair I almost fell into. I understand the wall you write about. I agree walls are defense mechanisms. We have to do the best in our social contexts. Trust God, our fellow man will always be incapable of meeting our needs completely. I hope you feel better,