I haven't been on here in a while. Was trying to deal with this rollercoaster I call a life that seems to be stuck in a constant drop. I don't feel depressed when i wake up in the morning anymore, but I am worried about how I will pay my rent and bills. I left one job, in hindsight, very prematurely. Luckily I found another one right away, but that situation was worse than the one I left. So I got my stuff and never went back. It was too far and I wasn't making enough and the owner yelled at me one day for some perceived slight i gave a customer. I was right, but I'm passive/aggresive and I don't forget. I can work from the house, but I do a service that is seasonal, and this is the start of the down season. I can try to do side jobs, but I just don't know what I'm doing and I scared I may get evicted soon. But I brought this on myself...

The meds I've been taking seem to be helping, it's just my current lack of money that has me down in the dumps. I just feel like a constant failure. I don't know why I keep putting myself in these situations and why it's so hard for me to deal with people. I need therapy, but it's hard because I'm so devoid of free money right now. I've been on these meds for 2 months now, and I know it won't be a cure-all but I still feel kind of down. Is this normal or is there something wrong with me. Why is it so hard?