To SophiaG, You have had many varied responses to your post. In my self examination of my increasing self imposed alienation, i have come to some possibilities.

Am I in fact just tired of the rejection and the alienation of myself by others?
and believe I will be better off in isolation? or
Am I doing this to somehow self destruct and make SI easier. Actually make my life more hopeless?

I know people take the latter path. I have chosen to forcefully break myself of the isolation pattern and pursue actual face to face depression support groups to hopefully find others tolerant and more understanding.