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Hello LizaRaye and welcome to PC.
I am sorry that you find yourself in a situation where your parents will not help you or if they do that help has conditions. I do not mean to sound harsh, but you are 25 years old, what help exactly do you need from your parents to accomplish? It sounds as if you have all of your ducks in a row. You are living on your own and have hit a snag. You need a car. Do you want your mother to negotiate the cost of the car? Is it merely a transportation issue? If so that easily solved. If you feel public transportation to a dealership is unsafe, why not splurge on a taxi? Or cashing the check, what is preventing you from opening your own bank account?
It sounds like you are not going to be able to depend upon your family for the help and support you need. You’ve taken the first step and gotten your own place. Now it is time to stand on your own and do the things that you can without help. You may have been raised to believe that you need these negative, abusive people in your life but you really do not. You control your own destiny.
None of us can walk through this life completely alone. The next step is to form positive healthy relationships. Join a club, church, or organization to meet people with similar interests and values. Unwanted attention from the opposite sex is a fact of life for most people. If this makes you feel uncomfortable take proactive steps to deal with it. Find a T or support group through school to help you deal with the feelings this causes. If you feel unsafe take a personal defense course. Carry pepper spray and a whistle in your purse.
It sounds as if you believe that you cannot do this on your own, and that is clearly not the case. You will feel so much better when you start taking charge of your own life rather than waiting for your parents to “help”. I may be wrong, but it sounds like you are trying to justify your need for a car. If you want a car and have the money to purchase one, do it. You do not need their permission or approval.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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