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I don't know. Maybe this is helping me to enjoy life with all the joy as it is not infiltred with people I don't need there. And I just don't mean the bad people, but maybe people who are good persons... but wouldn't click with me.
It is not really a fear, imho. I do suffer bit social phobia and yes, I put on a tough mask... but what is the other option? I can be friendly to people when I want or when situation requires it. But for deeper friendships I need people who "get me" and with whom i will not have to pretend too much.
I never was an extrovert, so there is no use trying to make one of myself now... I need my relationships to be meaningful and for them to give me something.
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perhaps i somewhat misinterpreted your original post, venus. i couldn't agree with you more about being selective with the ppl you choose to have in your life or exclude. so there we are on the same wave length.
i guess i see the word cynicism as negativity in something/someone and in some areas of the world i live in i have become a cynic. i dislike manipulation and ppl or groups of ppl that are dishonest or misleading especially for their own gain.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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