What a great thread. I think this was the core issue between me and Cold Distant T. It was almost uncanny the way I would feel quite a bit of trust (maybe not 100 percent, I mean this is my issue, after all!). ANd then feel really disoriented because there was very very little in the Trust Department. And it was really mind-bending.....

At times, I would feel like disclosing a lot, like getting into some intimacy issues of mine that are long-standing, and then..something would happen, a big rupture and I would back away, feeling really stung and tentative. Sometimes I lashed out at T, sometimes, I just sucked things up but there was NEVER (now THIS is 100 percent) any discussion of my trust issue. I didn't trust him enough to talk about my lack of trust! Ha! And these instances got worse...to the point where I expected them and felt defeated by the relationship. The relationship began to dominate the therapy...and there were things in RL that really needed to get dealt with!

I posted elsewhere about a picture that I brought into therapy, and now that I think about it, I realize that although T studied the photo for a long time, he said nothing about it at the time...and I felt like I was blabbing along to fill space...then several appointments later, he made a comment about the photograph, making some harsh, overarching declarations about the people in it...my family members, and it just happened to be at a time when I was feeling really vulnerable, and suddenly, I was experiencing a total lack of trust. I think that I do have these struggles with trustinig others, but I'm ALSO pretty sure that my T was never really WORTHY of my trust. So, in a sense, the whole topic is front and center, which is good, but the way that arose was just really, really damaging to me. And btw...I am now shopping for new Ts..which brings its own set of demands....lol! But that's something I'm seeking in a new T...someone who engenders a feeling of security, safety, trust.....even if that happens over time.