Like the wrinkle cream commercial says, Don't hide it (your age), Defy it (your low self-esteem)! That is, maybe you're not hiding it as well as you think, and maybe that dishonesty is off-putting. It may appear as if you feel you have something to hide. I am sorry your mom is ill. There is nothing wrong with looking for a mother figure at this time of your life, perhaps a school counselor or teacher of a favorite subject can help? Please keep writing here, there are a lot of resources here.