3rdTimesTheCharm wrote:
Quote:
Sometimes I think it's not so much about whether or not you can feel trust about someone else, but whether you are willing to trust someone else. It's a leap of faith that when you reach across the abyss that isolates you from other people, that the other person will catch your hand and help you land safely on the other side. I think that trust is maybe more about being willing to leap than trying to accurately gauge whether you'll be helped to safety. Because if you don't leap, you definitely won't get to the other side. If you try, you have a pretty good chance at succeeding.
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I think this hit the nail on the head. I am grappling with this issue right now. I decided months ago that my T was worthy of being trusted. There were just all sorts of things he did that made me realize it would be safe to trust him. He's not perfect (no one is), but his heart is in the right place and I knew he would not knowingly hurt me in any way. So the question became .... would I allow myself to trust him? I don't trust anyone - period - so this is a huge step. I'm realizing that I have to remember that he's
not perfect, and he may inadvertently do things that would make me feel slighted. Little stuff, really, but the kind of thing that can become HUGE when you can't trust and only reinforces the idea that of course I can't trust anyone - see what happens when I do, blah, blah, blah.
I'm right in the middle of making that leap that 3rdTimesTheCharm mentioned, and I'm absolutely terrified. But I
trust that my T will help me through this.
(If he doesn't, he's toast - and he knows it
)