Thank you Bub for replying and sharing with me. I've also gone for periods of time free of it but blast it all if some stressful thing comes up that brings it back, grrr, so I know what you mean.

I also hate to see younger people toying with it. I mean, some people unfortunately have it full blown but others I see just are at that beginning and if they can just deal with life rather than get trapped... People joke about wishing to have an eating disorder so they can "control their weight" but they have no idea what a nightmare it is. It is so not fun and seems like an octopus whose tentacles affect every part of life.

I was just talking today to my therapist about body image. I mean, I have come so close to body acceptance and than off it goes to some elusive place. I hate to think at my age that I still am affected by the size of my pants and the number on the scale.

I have a friend who I walk with who used to be very overweight. Than he lost it all but still sees himself as very overweight despite being the complete opposite to the point of not looking healthy all the time. He over exercises like I used to so sometimes it is triggering listening to him. It also motivates me though and makes me think because he is at least 10 years older than I am. I don't want to be his age and still walking around saying how fat I am. Know what I mean? It's different when you are young but at my age, no one wants to hear it and it just sounds ridiculous.