While your aunt may have verbally committed the money to you, it sounds as if she didn't leave it to you in her will. Since you are receiving SSI, you can't have assets over a certain amount it sounds. Your Aunt may have felt she was doing you a favor by not leaving the money to you as it would have jeopardized your benefits and thus left you out of the will.

The problem is that your late Aunt's friend, the executor, cannot legally give you money that is not left to you. This executor has a fiduciary duty to distribute the estate exactly as the will is written. If you were not left money in the will, then this person could be in legal trouble if they ignore the will and give the money to you. If you have seen the will, and you are not named in it, you should not pressure this person to give you money from the estate. It may not seem right to you, but it is the way it must be. The law presumes that the will reflects the wishes of the deceased. Verbal promises have little value in probate.

What your Aunt should have done either before she died, or in her will, is create a Special Needs Trust and placed the money in it. A properly drafted Trust can retain your SSI eligibility and provide money for the extra things you need in life (outside of food, housing and clothing). If you have other living relatives that may have assets they wish to give you upon their deaths, get them to a lawyer that knows how to properly draft either an Inter vivos or Testementary Special Needs Trust.

I feel for you. I have a brother that is severely handicapped and have had to deal with the problems of assets jeopardizing his benefits even though he has a Special Needs Trust.