lizard lady, losing a very special loved one is so difficult. be kind to yourself right now. do something special for yourself.
have you considered journaling your thoughts and feelings? it won't change that mom is gone but it will help you get out the grief and lessen the intensity of your pain.
this may sound odd but it has helped me. my father died in 1968. i loved him so much. he was only 45. sometimes in a quiet room i have a one way "conversation" with him speaking out loud tho he's been gone a long time. i still tell him i miss him. as a tribute to him i try to do the same kind things he did.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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