My mother was killed in a tragic car accident 9 years ago and I am still not over it. She lost controll of her car and ran into a snowplow at about 55mph. She was killed instantly. Her body was split in half to her waist.
When it happened I went into a deep depression. I was not talking to my mother at the time of her death and we hadn't spoken in years.
I went to the funeral but there were many people who didn't even know that I was her daughter. That was very painful. I didn't go to see her body and say goodbye because after hearring the discription of the condition of her body I did not want to see her that way.
It is 9 years later and I still get ill when I even hear a snowplow go by never mind when I see one on the road.
I guess the hardest part is our relationship was filled with nothing but pain, suffering, judgemenatel accusations, and condemnation. Love was only a dream.
Being death is so final nothing will ever change and I have to live with this reality forever more that is almost umbareable. my siblings don't understand because they all experienced the love of our mother in different levels of course but at least they got something to hold onto.
I don't know if anyone can relate to me but if you can help me to get through this I would surely appreciate your efforts.
Thanks.