I could use some extra hugs today, my mind is off in dark places, thinking maybe I'd be better with no meds, I used to be a fantastic artist, and I've pretty much lost it, my meds really interfere with my mind. At least it seems that way. I have been on disability for five years, and I can't help think about what I am not doing. I am sitting here wasting away. What am I doing? I am not proud of myself today. I feel like a wasted useless pill pot. I feel like I am gonna throw up. I know I have been especially needy lately. Man I suck right now!! Is it the drugs ruining my mind, or the bipolar itself, I know I am kindling.. I feel like I'll never be the same