As with Innerzone - I hide it better around people, but I just have an urge to be alone so I can stop hiding and just drown in it. My biggest meltdowns have always been on my own; it's like I hold so much in that I can just let go and it's a bit of a tidal wave. But it's very lonely; I want to be alone but I also want someone to understand and make it go away, or at least stay with me until it passes.