Ohmygosh! LovebirdsFlying, I could have written much of your post myself. Especially when I was younger, I'd refuse to do something if I was TOLD, because I wanted to be given the benefit of the doubt that I would do it myself, without the nagging, after which I'd be all 'well I WAS going to do it but now you can just whistle!' Thing is, it wasn't just household chores etc, I even put off learning to drive, in part down to this very issue - which only hurt myself - but I was SO determined to do it on my own terms.