Wow. That really is a toughy. The worry I have with not allowing a 22 yr old man to do something is that he may lash out and run away or start acting out towards you. Maybe he needs to fall on his butt? I had to leave the house and put myself in some pretty crappy situations before fully understanding my mom's thoughts and appreciating all she did for me.

I am the tough love type. So my feeling is, you have to let your kids fall. You might be surprised by how he does. But you (or him) will never know unless he tries? I know you just want to protect him but, you won't be there for him forever and he eventually has to learn how to deal with his issues and disabilities on his own. So whether he succeeds at what he says he will, he has to learn this now. Sounds like maybe he is tired of being dependent - whether that is from ADHD or whatever - everyone needs their own space and to feel like they have control over their life.

My parents attempted to keep me at home so, instead, when my roommates and I had a falling out, I lived in my car instead of asking for their help. I don't want that to happen to you. Try to participate in active listening with him and maybe he will open up about some worries or thoughts he is having about this experience?

Bottom line - let him know (verbally) that you love him no matter what and will be there for him if this doesn't work out but that you are proud of him for wanting his independence.

And you should NEVER feel bad for raising a child that wants to take care of himself! Many guys and girls would be perfectly happy mooching off their mother and not having to work. Your son WANTS to work! He WANTS to accomplish things! That speaks volumes as to the kind of mother you are. No matter how the situation turns out, you are a good mom!!!!