((((( Evie )))))

I am so sorry. Do you see a therapist? I believe that would help you deal with the grief and the guilt.

I've lost three close family members and although I was "talking" to them at the end of their short lives, we had many unresolved issues. I still fluctuate between anger over "those issues" the sadness of "those issues" and the desire to kick those issues out of the way, grab hold of whatever good memories are left, and and put them on a pedestal.

It's all so hard and very confusing. My heart goes out to you.

Petunia