That is not what I am talking about. Being different and changing. I quite like Venus. Except the times I am using my intelligence and acquired knowledge against myself.

So in a way you are right. I need to stop thinking the stupid thoughts, need to stop deconstructing reality when it doesn't help and instead... keep my mind occupied by something more useful. I can do it, damnit. Just for some reason there are times when nothing captures my attention for long enough.

And maybe be... and live with purpose... against all odds.