Sigh. This self sabotage. I know I mustn't yet I do anyway! I know it's bad for me, but I do it anyway. I want more than anything to lose weight. But I eat that whole bag anyway. Not just a handful, the whole bag!!! I am disgusted with myself today.

It really should be very simple. Just eat healthy and exercise. I hate exercise and I can't afford half the healthy things on my eating plan.

Haven't been to the gym for many months and won't be able to afford the subscription after this month anyway. Can't really go for walks because it isn't safe in my area. But I will anyway. I just have to. Something has got to give. Something has to change. I simply cannot carry on this way or continue looking this way. I'm going to lose everything I hold dear. I just can't anymore. I just can't!!